*T*A*L*O*N* (gasplesswinter) wrote,

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WARNING: Long entry ahead!!

Whoo!! Time for another update. YAY! *does the chicken dance over and over again until almost passes out*


I woke up early today.. and ate some bread and started doing my excersizes... god does my stomach hurt... and so do my legs... I haven't stretched in a long time. Anyways... talked to my sister today... we were talking about our relationships and stuff.. I really had nothing to say because I've only had like.. what.. 2 boyfriends in my lifetime... so I was just listening to her talk and I felt like I can understand her feelings towards me now... (i'm talking about my other sister Esmer... not Eva)

My parents went to my brother-in-law's b-day party and they left me all alone in my house.. well.. I told them that I was going to be okay by myself. Anyways... I was falling asleep when I heard a strange noise outside and I was scared to check so I shut off everything that was on.. and i put my headphones on and I started listening to the ska cd that _mystupidmind made for me.. and i couldn't drown out the noises that were coming from outside.. and you know when you're scared how you can notice things much more easily? Well.. I started to do that... I could see shadows moving.. and I could hear noises everywhere... but.. luckily it didn't last long. I heard knocking on the door and I ran to get it. I knew it was my parents because I could hear them talking so.. I was soo relieved.

And now I find myself listening to something or other on the radio and I'm acting crazy. OMG!! School starts on monday.. and I'm kinda looking forward to it. I'm not scared anymore... and I've resolved almost all the issues that I needed to solve. And I shall tell them to you now because.. some of you want to know.. others just won't care.. but.. screw it.. this is my journal and I can write whatever the hell I want. Anyways... I've had an issue (problem) with practically everyone.. and I would like to apologize because what I have done was stupid... and it wasn't until yesterday (when we all bonded) that I realized that I have been holding onto feelings that have made me kind of bitter inside. No wonder people feel like they can't talk to me... I must have a weird "aura".. i guess you could say.

And like my dear friends said (according to fairy_dancer "We can't let you start another year being depressed... there's no point to it"

And there is not point to it... I want to start over like everything that I have done is now buried in the past. And there's no point in asking for trust because either I have broken it.. or I can never have it again. But.. I don't care.. this doesn't go to anyone in particular.. I'm just saying.

I had a crush on this guy named Michael... (at least I think that's his name :/) but.. I got over him in like one day because.. well.. just because. And.. I had previously promised myself that I wasn't going to like anyone.. and I seemed to have broken that so.. I guess it's just better if I just don't make anymore promises to myself. (well.. maybe some promises can stay)

I think that's enough for this entry... I'll probably end up updating again later because I still have lots to say.

P.S. Thank you for those who read my journal and actually take it seriously.. I love you all!!! :D

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